I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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