im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
