Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
