Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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