Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
