wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
