so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
