Me. At least after what I've been through.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize