do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
