Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
