I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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