More tranny stories later!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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