Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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