Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize