So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
