ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
