The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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