Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
MIDGETS
????
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
