So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
His nipple licking is glorious
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