He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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