I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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