I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
