i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am puke
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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