On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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