what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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