video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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