There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize