I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
