I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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