we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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