I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
