What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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