sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
