by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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