we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
