So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
