no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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