You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
false alarm. still invincible.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i out mim tonsoeep
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