So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
