Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize