i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
