You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
