My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
