that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
