I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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