just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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