Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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