having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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