M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
