But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
