your room smells of hookers.
And success
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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