Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
