Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
