So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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