We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
