i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
