im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
