I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
