I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
