well I can't set my house on fire every night
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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