good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
