i can juggle bunnies
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.