...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.