do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
