we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me