I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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