I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
