did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize