Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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