i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
